EXCLUSIVE: Beaver Cabal Plot to Flood the World Uncovered
By Lance Throttle, Senior Truth Excavator
Politics — “Canada’s Wettest Secret”
In a shocking turn of events, whistleblowers inside the Ministry of Natural Resources claim the government has been negotiating in secret with a rogue faction of hyper-intelligent beavers.
“They don’t just want more dams,” said an anonymous source wearing sunglasses indoors. “They want every coastline, every city, every backyard kiddie pool under their control.”
Diplomatic cables allegedly reveal Prime Ministerial advisors debating whether to join the Beaver Cabal’s “Global Flood Initiative” in exchange for… “unlimited maple syrup futures.”
