State of the Union, Starship Flight 8, and the Collapse of the SP500: A Night of Chaos You Won’t Believe (But Should)
By Rusty R. Balderdash, Senior Satirist at True Free World
Washington, D.C. – On a night that combined politics, pop culture, and pure pandemonium, the State of the Union address was nothing short of a circus. As Treasury Department Boi (yes, that’s a thing now) opened the evening by discussing the disastrous Trump tariffs, the stock market, as predicted by every millennial with an internet connection, immediately plunged—like Cillian Murphy’s career after he signed up for Starship Flight 8.