Author name: True Free World

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Investigations We Shouldn’t Be Doing, News, Science Probably

The Duolingo Owl Meets Its Fate Amid Asteroids, Outages, and Botulism Fears

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By Max “Mad Scribbler” Rutherford, Senior Satirist for True Free World

Iron Mountain, February 15, 2025 — The world woke up to chaos today, as a shocking chain of events rocked everything from global finance to the culinary industry. Somewhere between an asteroid sighting over Greenland and a devastating Dominion power outage, the infamous Duolingo Owl met its untimely demise, sending language learners into existential crisis. read more

News, World Affairs

True Free World Exclusive: The Day Google Maps Went Rogue and Rod Blagojevich Became a Jazz Critic

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By Truman “Truth Bomb” Barkley, Chief Satirist for True Free World

Golfo de Mexico, February 10, 2025 — In a series of events that defy logic, reason, and the general laws of probability, Google Maps went rogue, Rod Blagojevich rebranded as a jazz critic, and the world’s tuna supply faced a catastrophic recall. Strap in, folks—it’s going to be a wild ride. read more

Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro Penny Speech
Domestic Nonsense, News

A Penny for Your Pulitzer: The Wild Day News Broke All Reality

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By Penelope “Penny” Chatterton, Chief Correspondent for True Free World

Guatemala City, February 10, 2025 — In what historians are already calling “The Day Journalism Finally Lost Its Mind,” a series of events unfolded so bizarre it left Sam Altman’s AI speechless, NBA starting lineups irrelevant, and Whitney Alford humming show tunes at Bath & Body Works’ Disney Princess collection launch. read more

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