NEW YORK — In a stunningly unsurprising move, billionaires are reportedly hoarding rent money while claiming it’s “the new economic model.”
According to a recent study, the ultra-rich now treat monthly rent payments like collectibles, carefully cataloging them in gold-plated filing cabinets and occasionally polishing them with artisanal microfiber cloths.
Housing experts say this explains why apartment hunting is “basically a game of chance with a side of despair.”
One billionaire reportedly stated:
“We just like to look at the money and imagine what it would be like if someone actually lived in a space. Very fun.”
Economists reassured the public that this is totally fine and “probably won’t end badly for anyone with a mortgage, savings, or basic understanding of numbers.”
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