Local Man Sets World Record for Saying ‘We Should Go’ Before Actually Leaving

Experts now classify the delay as “geological in scale.”

MAPLE RIDGE — In a milestone that scientists are calling “both impressive and deeply concerning,” 34-year-old Jason McAllen has officially set a world record for saying “we should go” a total of 14 times before physically leaving a friend’s house.

The entire process took 2 hours and 17 minutes, surpassing the previous record of 1 hour and 46 minutes, held by a Midwestern dad who got caught in a back-to-back goodbye spiral during a barbecue.

Witnesses say Jason first uttered the phrase at 8:04 p.m., rising halfway off the couch like a man about to seize destiny, only to sit right back down after someone casually mentioned a movie they saw once in 2013.

“He kept doing that thing where he’d slap his knees like he was about to stand up,” said host Kendra Blake. “But then someone would offer him more chips, or he’d remember a story he had to tell. It was like watching a bird try to take flight after forgetting how wings work.”

According to sociologists, the Extended Leaving Phenomenon typically unfolds in predictable stages:

1. The Declaration: “We should go.”
2. The Social Anchor: Someone compliments the dip; conversation instantly restarts.
3. The Doorway Pause: Shoes are on, but a new topic has emerged that absolutely cannot wait.
4. The Front-Lawn Loop: Saying goodbye again, despite having said goodbye already.
5. The Car-Stalling Ritual: One foot in the vehicle, but emotions—mostly nostalgia and mild confusion—delay ignition.
6. The Final Departure: Only occurs when the host visibly turns off the porch light.

Researchers say the emotional physics behind this phenomenon mirror black holes, describing the doorway as “a gravitational field from which no clean exit can escape.”

Jason’s girlfriend confirmed the ordeal left them completely exhausted.
“I love him, but if he says ‘we should go’ again, I’m leaving without him,” she said, already wearing her coat.

When asked what pushed him to such legendary heights, Jason shrugged.
“I dunno, man. Every time I tried to leave, somebody said something interesting. Or kinda interesting. Or, honestly, not interesting at all, but I still stayed.”

Experts now warn that extended goodbyes are becoming increasingly common in families where politeness levels exceed recommended daily limits.

The World Record Committee awarded Jason a commemorative plaque and gently suggested he work on “decisiveness training,” or at least limit himself to a maximum of three false exits per social event.

In a brief ceremony afterward, Jason accepted the honor and announced, “Alright, folks, we should get going,” prompting an additional 45-minute delay.