Study Reveals Why People Stare at Fridges Without Opening Them, Funding Questioned

TORONTO — Psychologists confirmed that “fridge-staring” is a common human behavior, often motivated by hunger, indecision, and existential dread.

Lead investigator Dr. Jenna Crumble admitted:
“We probably shouldn’t have done this. But someone had to find out why Karen keeps staring at the fridge for twenty minutes every night.”

The research leaves humanity with one clear message: we’re all deeply confused and slightly disappointed.