OTTAWA — In a travel update already dominating searches for Canada travel advisory Australia, the Government of Canada has warned citizens to “exercise high caution” after reports that Australian wildlife have begun organized, possibly tactical fitness regimens.
According to documents obtained by True Free World after bothering at least three government interns, multiple kangaroos were seen performing coordinated burpee drills, while a cockatoo allegedly yelled “drop and give me twenty” at a confused tourist from Moose Jaw.
Officials insist this is not an overreaction.
“We’re witnessing an evolution in Australian wildlife behavior,” said one federal analyst who asked to remain anonymous because they “don’t get paid enough for this.” “These animals aren’t just jacked; they’re training like they know something we don’t. And frankly, that’s alarming.”
The advisory lists several precautions for Canadians traveling to Australia, including:
• avoiding beaches where seagulls appear to be running combat simulations
• staying away from koalas carrying hydration packs
• refusing all invitations to join “rookie boot camp” led by wallabies
The update also reminds Canadians that fleeing is acceptable “as long as you apologize while doing it.”
Australian officials defended their wildlife, stating the animals are “just getting ready for summer” and gently suggesting that Canada “drink a glass of water and relax.” They did not comment on the viral video of a kangaroo flipping an SUV “for warm-up.”
True Free World will continue monitoring the situation, mostly because we can’t stop watching the footage.
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