NEW YORK — After months of digging, True Free World can now confirm what many viewers suspected every time something on Fox News felt… a little too sparkly and chaotic: the network is being quietly operated by a council of fae tricksters.
Leaked documents show that the newsroom has been under fae influence since at least 2011, when producers first noticed unexplained glitter footprints, impossible contractual fine print, and anchors vanishing mid-sentence only to reappear holding baskets of enchanted blueberries.
Former employees describe the fae management style as “whimsically hostile,” noting that:
• all contracts are magically binding, written in shimmering ink only visible under moonlight
• the morning meetings begin with riddles instead of agendas
• staff are required to leave out bowls of cream to avoid “editorial mischief”
One disgruntled intern told True Free World: “If you mess up even one lower-third graphic, a fae executive appears out of nowhere, grins, and offers you a deal involving fame, fortune, and losing your middle name. I still don’t know what mine was.”
Media analysts say this revelation explains:
• the sudden topic pivots that feel suspiciously like glamour magic
• ratings spikes during full moons
• why fact-checkers often wander into the office, stare into space, and say, ‘Wait… why did I come in here?’ before drifting away like enchanted NPCs
According to internal memos, the fae took over to “introduce a bit more chaos into the mortal narrative cycle,” claiming human politics had become “too predictable” and “lacking that classic trickster charm.” They also cited an interest in “experimenting with culture-shaping illusions at scale.”
Fox News executives have not denied the reports, releasing a statement that read:
“We value diversity in the workplace, including beings of ancient magic who thrive on confusion and shiny objects.”
When pressed for further comment, a shimmering figure in a tailored suit materialized briefly in the lobby, whispered, “The truth is subjective, darling,” and then vanished in a puff of lavender smoke.
True Free World will continue investigating, assuming we don’t get tricked into a 500-year mystical employment contract.
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